When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
