UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
