just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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