Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
