I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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