It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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