chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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