I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
