You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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