i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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