i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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