C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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