i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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