I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
