So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
