Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
