i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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