i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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