I cockslap morals
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
