we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
