so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
