you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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