If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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