did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
