I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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