did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
