He told me they were just razor bumps!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
