Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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