Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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