i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
