CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
