I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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