I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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