This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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