i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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