yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
