it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
