I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize