Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
