he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize