A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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