my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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