Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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