yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
