found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
