What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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