This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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