I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
