I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
