He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
