Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
