SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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