I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
