I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
