I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think i got beer on your cat.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
