Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
