alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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