The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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