My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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