I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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