Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
