So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
