Your tits are I can't wait for
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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