i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
