I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
