no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Alive.
So much puke
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
