Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
