Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i now understand why vodka
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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